|all that i've compromised, to feel another high.
||[Apr. 21st, 2015|08:47 pm]
he says i'm in a very dark place, like even the seeds i planted are taking ages to grow... and it's this time of waiting. like having to push on and break through the soil... the dark, damp, moist earth... the place where there's no light, but you're buried trying to find the surface. the weird thing is, i don't even realise i'm in this dark place, not this time. i seriously wish i could write better.
i want life. i want people again. i want to accept myself. i want to try but it's not working. it never works.
it's actually the worst it's ever been. but i don't feel it is. isn't that like mental illness or something? the person who is mentally ill usually thinks they're not? but i know i am. idk.